His(my)Story, Part 5

Before I start wrapping up the total mind dump that is this autoshitography. let me advise you to head off to the NNFX website and YouTube channel and perform some light reading/watching/listening. When it comes to learning Dorex, it is the single most invaluable resource you could have to hand, and I wish it had been around back in 2015. Might have saved me a couple of grand.

The missing puzzle piece for my system building was not treating my systems for what they were – mathematical combinations of probability. I saw them as living, breathing analysis machines who were as good as the professional traders sitting up in their steel edifices, and that those edifices all used the same equations, the same calculations to power their trading.

A chance encounter with a video on YouTube changed all that.

This one.

What it explained to me about Big Banks and how they control, pressure and manipulate price was invaluable. No amount of indicators you place onto a chart are going to tell you what the banks have planned. They have liquidity available beyond your understanding, and when your system is prized to strike… they already know.

They’re going to take your money. They took mine, almost everytime.

My whole outlook on Forex changed, and I spent the spring and summer of 2019 studying the NNFX material, learning more about indicators, systems, processes and the so-called “Smart Money” than I ever had before. Even though I didn’t entirely agree with the algorithim layout and adapted it to suit my own trading approach, I came to the following conclusions:

  1. Everything – EVERYTHING – you do in Forex needs to have the goal of not losing money. Winning is a bonus. Not losing is the goal.
  2. Everything – EVERYTHING – you do in Forex needs to follow the movements of the Big Banks. Getting on their bandwagon is the only way to win consistently.
  3. If you have indicators in a single timeframe, those indicators need to be using a lot of information sources to be a fair reflection of what’s going on.
  4. Use MTF analysis. You cannot possibly know what’s going on in the larger context by looking at your preferred entry timeframe, especially if your preferred entry timeframe is a small one and therefore susceptible to market noise.
  5. Any confirmation indicators you have need to be tested and retested again and again and again. Independently and as part of a full system. They are the most important part of your entry process by far.
  6. Constantly develop and adapt your system. Find ways to further eliminate losses. Find ways to plug it into other markets.
  7. And finally – know your targets, know your stops, and stick to them. You can’t win if you let the market run off and not pay attention.

The more I built up a system to resemble a mathematical equation that gave me the best possible entries, the more I started to win. I wasn’t consistent and constant, but when my wins started to run, they really started to run.

Me, trying to figure out how moving averages work.

Unfortunately, whilst my trading life was starting to progress and excel, my home life wasn’t. My new wife was starting to show a bit more of her true colours now that we had moved in together and the way she spoke to me and the kids at times had become, in my view, nothing short of verbal abuse. She has told me multiple times about the verbal and physical abuse she suffered as a child, and how she would never do this to her own children, but equally telling your own kid that you’re going to smash his head against the toilet seat because he’s pissed on the floor by accident and not cleaned it up is… really the exact opposite of that. The day she said that is the day my love for her become hollow. Even if things do change, I’m not sure my feelings for her will come back.

I’m inbetween a rock and a hard place in that sense. I know if I leave these children will suffer financially and mentally, so if I am going to act on my feelings, I need to create a financial cushion through trading that I can provide to both my wife and those kids. At the same time, my patience to sit by and listen to the abuse is rapidly diminishing. I’m not in a position where I could offer much financial support, certainly not as much as I’d like.

I guess it’s a case of what will snap first. Right now, I’ve got a mask on.

And so going into 2020, that’s where we are. I have an algorithim which is running profitably, but one I can improve. By the same measure, I’m in a race to keep my sanity, protect my children, and leave a woman I’m growing to intensely dislike before it’s too late. My initial motivation was to provide for my family. Now it’s to escape whilst leaving enough for my family to survive on.

Life sure is fun, isn’t it?

Sorry for the warts and all story that wasn’t entirely about trading, but it’s important that we all understand our motivations in this game. I guess that’s an extra rule to my 7 above!

That’s the last part of my tale anyway. From here on out, it’s just trading stories, reviews, analysis and maybe the odd occasional anecdote. I set this blog up because really, it’s my only outlet for expressing my trading journey anonymously. Social media really ISN’T a good idea to recount your steps on – someone will always filter it. At least here, I’m in control.

And let me assure you – I will be in control of my trading. Never give up.